As Labour gather in Liverpool, in an attempt to regain some moral credibility after a dire first few months in power, a storm is gathering on Starmer’s Left. For now it lacks the media spotlight of donor-funded birthday parties and …
How Starmer slaughtered the Tories
This was an election campaign like no other. Less a battle of personalities and visions than of competing strategies to attain power, commanded not by the uninspiring monarchs under whose banners the battle was fought but the generals quietly ordering …
The most infantilising election of all
How do you feel about that most English of vices: gentle whimsy? Personally, I can’t abide unusually shaped teapots, cat cartoons, Gilbert and Sullivan operas, London Marathon costumes, or jokey books you’re supposed to read on the toilet. For the …
And so, farewell conservatism
Conservatism has died, not from an assassin’s bullet, or even from old age or because it was run over by a bus. It has died because there is no call for it anymore. This isn’t to say that nobody wants …
Will Starmer discover his Romantic side?
Hungover with apathy, there was no champagne drunk in our household after last night’s theatre of the predictable. Starmer is in power, and the Tories are out. How did our politics become so dull?
Should there have been more dancing …
What Young Fogeys get wrong about housing
The Renaissance in Italy came from its cities, and not by accident. What we now call “agglomeration effects” were at work here. Within their curtain walls, all classes and factions were crammed together in lunatic proximity. Unable to grow out, …
The death of the Conservative Club
In 1993, the then British Prime Minister, John Major, gave a speech to the Conservative Group for Europe: “Fifty years on from now,” he predicted, “Britain will still be the country of long shadows on county [cricket] grounds, warm beer, …
Why all MPs are gamblers
“Are you two really the best we’ve got to be the next prime minister of our great country?”, asked Robert, during the final election leadership debate. As a Question Time audience intervention, it was a classic of the genre: knowing, …
Labour won’t save the NHS
Any culture, society or nation is ultimately judged on how it protects its citizens, and how it treats and cares for its most vulnerable. And on this standard, the Conservatives have failed. Over the past 14 years, their contempt has …
You have been expelled from politics
In a short story published in 1955, Isaac Asimov imagined America’s Presidential election day in 2008. Amid intense excitement, the entire world watches on as an ordinary citizen is led forward to cast his vote — the only vote needed …
Britain’s weirdest constituency
If you live in Sheffield Hallam constituency, there’s a fair chance you’ve been approached for a vox pop by a broadsheet newspaper recently. The Financial Times, The Guardian, The Times — all have come to visit in the …
How Britain abandoned Scotland
It’s half past midnight on the Isle of Benbecula — far, far away on the outer edges of Europe — and Angus Brendan MacNeil MP is getting into his stride. “If you want Scotland to stay, you should want Ireland …
Keir Starmer’s moral vacuum
Who is Sir Keir Starmer, really? It’s fairly clear that the British public have difficulty with this question. Although by now they’ve probably picked up that he’s the son of a toolmaker, much else remains obscure. On the face of …
Westminster’s gambling addiction
When, in the autumn of 1963, Harold Macmillan resigned as Prime Minister, there was no formal mechanism in place for deciding who his replacement would be. Back then, the Conservative Party still prided itself in a self-selecting process — what …
Why none of these charlatans gets my vote
“We won’t change anything, but we’ll be less corrupt, look after your money better and not rip you off so much — at least in our first term.”
This, essentially, is Labour’s message going into the election, and what passes …